EMOTIONAL PATTERNS

Happy Hump Day!

If I am honest with myself – I have struggled in the past to find my emotional place. Especially getting into a relationship with a man who is very logical! I know he is reading this – I love you!

Anyway, I was listening to a podcast (what’s new?) and in this podcast the speaker was talking about how to find your emotional place within yourself and facing your fears. Believe it or not one of peoples biggest fears today is losing their job as your job affects your living conditions, relationships, your psychology, and your experiences.

Losing your job is a massive problem – until you find yourself losing your money, a loved one, your house, a leg, or getting a type of cancer. Once you have lost one of those things, losing a job is a small problem.

Just 8% of millennials believe that their future will be more financially secure than their parents….just 8%! that’s pretty upsetting in my opinion.

This is all because of fear, millennials are scared for the future, I mean, I am too but the difference between me and others is that others believe that their situations control their lives – and yes they do, but only to a minimal extent…it’s what you do about those situations that determine your life!

In order to make positive changes in your life or changes that will enhance your situation, you have to change your emotional pattern.

CHANGING YOUR EMOTIONAL PATTERNS:

  1. Identify where you live emotionally: do you identify with feeling overwhelmed, upset, guilty? There is no way you can change your life if that is how you identify emotionally.
  2. Once you find out where you are emotionally living: Find the solution, find the opposite. If frustration is where you live emotionally, happiness is the opposite.
  3. Practice the opposite, the emotion you would like to feel: don’t just practice it mentally, practice is physically! Emotion is created by the way we use our bodies. If you are frustrated you will clench your hands, clench your jaw, grind your teeth and if you are happy you will open your hands, relax your jaw and slightly open your mouth – so practice the behaviours of the emotion.
  4. Ask others what you do when you are feeling frustrated/happy or strong/fearful so you are away from an outsiders perspective and practice these actions 3 times a day

 

You may feel odd when standing up and relaxing your jaw on purpose or holding your head up high but trust me…it makes you feel powerful, and once you do this you will start to notice a new pattern in your body!

 

Any questions or comments related to this post?

Let me know!

 

PROGRESS = HAPPINESS

Today, I had to go to my local westfield shopping centre because I had to buy a new wallet..I know what you are thinking!!

“Did you really need a new wallet or did you just want one?”

To answer your question…yes, yes I did need a new one! My old was was about 5 years old and had rips everywhere…..RIP.

ANYWAY! Back to the story..

I was at my local westfield, and this place is the place where I worked for about 5 years of my life and went to every.single.day – I managed to get out this year and hardly go there anymore.

Being back at my old stomping ground…I saw many familiar faces, still in the same job, wearing the same thing, talking about the same thing and so on.

Every time I go to westfield to do shopping, or get lunch or movies or whatever it is – I always try to say hey to my old friends and see how they are going and one thing that always ends up being the conversation is about the work politics, or the gossip, or how they are still in the same job and the job they are in is full of drama and they never get time off and I think people tend to forget that the power is in their hands to CHANGE

You don’t like where you are in your career? Change it

You don’t like your relationship? Okay, find a new one

You don’t like your body? Okay, get into the gym

You don’t like what you are studying? Study something else

We seem to fail to remember that we are in control of our lives and that we can change things

Instead of changing, we complain, we vent, we gossip, we ponder and we annoy other people with our own problems and it’s great that we talk about all the things we’d like to change, however we tend to struggle to actually take the action and change it.

Set yourself up with a process that will allow you to progress

PROGRESS = HAPPINESS

People tend to try something different ‘just for a change’ but then as soon as they hit a downfall – they give up on it!

Give up the idea that just trying something will change your life, you have to immerse yourself into it and commit yourself!

I remember when I was in Europe earlier this year and I was in Santorini cliff jumping and this cliff was HUGE! I was so scared to jump off it cause I thought I would die and my boyfriend said to me “JUST JUMP!” “TAKE THE LEAP!” and I always think about this and relate it to many aspects of my life. I jumped off the cliff, I took the leap and it was the best thing ever!! it felt so good and free and hey….i’m still alive today

So to whoever is reading this and is scared of change, scared of doing something different….TAKE THE LEAP…it’s worth it.

trust me.

Find a lifestyle before finding a job.

Today has got me thinking after my recent posts…

“Where do you want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 25 years?” and I would rather jump on lego pieces than answer that question.

It’s sad that people think that your career is the most important thing in your life and that your career defines you.

Whilst, don’t get me wrong career is important because work brings you money, and well, we need money to live a stable life.

However, for me – the type of lifestyle I live is more important than just a job that I go to, to make money.

DON’T CALL ME CRAZY! I understand jobs are important, we need food, we need water and a shelter over our heads and thats what work can provide for us and I applaud those who go out there and challenge themselves with their work and without money – we have nothing, and yes, I do want to travel more, I want a nice house, I want a nice car and blah blah blah

The point of this is that, nowadays there is not enough priority given, or importance on the beautiful parts of life – family, travelling, hobbies, friends, and creating experiences. I don’t want to spend my life working away in an office and missing out on the most important parts.

SO, HOW DO I DO THAT?!

well, well, well, the answer to that question we need to make sure we have jobs that allow us to do that. 

That may be hard to understand – but at this point, I am thinking about what type of life i’m going to live in the future, what life I want to give my husband and children.

I want to do work that excites me and inspires me, but I also want to go home and live a fulfilling life outside of work.

At some point, I will have kids and I want to spend time and play with them, I want to travel with my husband and them, I want to have time to cook and go to the gym, and binge watch reality TV.

“But Elissa, it’s so easy to say that but hard to do that”

Well…..only if you let it be that hard. All we really have to do is take the time to think about the lifestyle we want to lead, then focus on finding a job that will allow you to lead that lifestyle. THATS IT!

Look at the position you want to be in, now look at those people IN that position and the lifestyle they have. If you want that – Go for it! But if you don’t then think about your career decisions.

I would rather have an amazing life than an amazing job. 

Do you think i’m crazy when I say that? or less ambitious?

I think it makes me more ambitious to reach it.

I want more than a job that I come home from and I have no energy to live my life and spend time with my family.

Believe me, I will have that.

IT’S OKAY TO BE LOST

Throughout our whole lives people seem to be asking “What are you gonna be when you’re older?” or “What are you gonna do with your life” and a lot of the time the answer is “I don’t know” or “Im gonna be (insert occupation)” and you never end up doing that.

When people ask me that question I always reply with “I’ll work it out” and then get into deep thought about how lost I am and end up freaking out! anyone else do that?!

I’ve always been the one to plan everything, I stay organised with my life and at 18 if you asked me that question, I would of known in a second! “I’m gonna be a real estate agent!”. I knew exactly where I wanted to be in 5 years and knew what I was gonna do with myself – fast forward to 5 years later and just now i’m starting to figure it out!

In the past 5 years my interests have definitely changed. From being enrolled in a commerce degree – I thought there were so many things I could do with my life like being a Manager, a real estate agent, a property developer, a HR manager, and the list goes on. Only to become highly confused because we have so many choices out there, we freak out, become lost, and try to search and search and search for that one thing that is going to determine the rest of our lives.

RELAX!!

Most people today ARE lost!

The one tip I can give you my friends is to….

FIND OUT WHAT YOU LOVE DOING!

FIND OUT WHAT TALENTS YOU HAVE!

No one can figure that out, but you..

To be honest – In high school I SUCKED! at English – I struggled to write anything and believe me, my english score was not the best! but here I am today, created my second blog, writing, blogging, helping others and I never thought I was going to do that.

Everyone is good at something!

So to answer the question

‘Where are you going to be in 5 years time?’

I don’t know. I don’t even know what i’m doing tomorrow. What I do know is that I want to be married, with a house, and maybe 1 kid if we are financially stable!

I also know that everything will end up being okay and everything will work itself out if I stick with what i’m good at doing, but I think thats what makes life so exciting and spontaneous.

 

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A bit about me

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Here I am at 21 years old, sitting in my office at work in which I am definitely supposed to be doing work at, but I am lost.

These past 9 months of 2018, I have learnt a lot, from falling in love with the most amazing man, to leaving the nest for the first time and leaving my university degree for a month to travel across Europe, I sit here today after constant pondering of ‘what the hell am I doing?! and What the hell am I going to do with my life?’

For all our schooling years, we dread waking up early in the morning to spend a whole day at school where we are taught that after you finish high school you will magically know all the answers in the world and what you are going to become and well at least for me it didn’t end up working out like that.

Last night I cried to my boyfriend because I honestly have no idea what I am doing and I don’t wan’t to seem like a disappointment, and this morning on my way to this office where I sit every day, I cried on the phone to my mum because again, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING, I don’t know where my strengths are, I don’t know what I excel at but what I do know is that I like talking, and writing, and going to the gym and I do know that I want to be something BIG one day….but i’m really struggling to find what that is.

I also know that I have stuffed up in the past and made mistakes but every day I come to this office and no it is not the worst place in the world, and I am thankful to work here, but one thing I am certain on is that I look around this office and see tonnes of lifeless faces and individuals with no love and excitement in their life and in my life, I aim to do everything with love….after all, I do have that quote tattooed my body!

My wish is that this blog assists every other girl and guy out there who also has no idea what is going on, those that are working those full time jobs just because it pays your bills but you feel like your going no where and you don’t even enjoy what you are doing!

Life is too short to not enjoy it.

I am just a young girl trying to navigate my way through this thing called life and I know that a lot of other people are too.

So for all of you who are going through the ‘What the hell do I want to do with myself’ stage, I hope this helps you

Thank you for taking the time to read this and welcome to LostMillennial

  • Elissa